What is grief?
Grief is the response to any type of treasured loss. It can include but is not limited to work changes, the loss of a job, pet, belongings, freedom, reputation, financial security, health, miscarriage or infertility, and community or family role. Bereavement is the response to the death of a loved one. The response to grief, bereavement and loss can take many forms. It’s also important to note that there are many different types of grief. Understanding the type of grief, you are experiencing may help you process the loss better, but it may not. Grief is a universal; everyone will grieve something at some point in their lives. However, grief is also as individual as a fingerprint, so your experience is unique. No-one will feel your grief in the same way as you. Many different factors will play into the type of grief you encounter which may include the type of relationship you had, the length of time spent, if you have any mental health concerns, your cultural rituals, they type of griever you are and the emotions you feel. Grief is not limited to just feelings of sadness; it can often also include feelings of anger, shame, denial, guilt, regret, and longing. Below are just some of the different types of grief.
TYPES OF GRIEF AND LOSS
As stated, there are many different types of grief. Let’s start with normal grief.
NORMAL GRIEF is a misnomer. Each person will respond to a loss differently. What feels normal for me may not feel normal for you. The feelings you feel may or may not be felt by others experiencing the same loss. The length of time you take to process your loss may differ to how long others take to process a similar loss. In short, there’s no such thing as normal grief. Let’s move on.
ABSENT GRIEF is where the bereaved person either does not experience grief or does not show signs of grief. This type of grief may occur after a shock loss or when the person is in denial. If someone is experiencing absent grief, it is important that they seek help. However, just because someone is not showing signs of grief does not mean they are experiencing absent grief. They may simply deal with their grief differently.
ANTICIPATORY GRIEF is the grief that may be felt in anticipation of a loss. Many people (and those who love them) may feel anticipatory grief when they are diagnosed with a terminal illness or with a disease like dementia. The grief that is experienced may not be for the person who is diagnosed, it may be for the life you lead prior to the diagnosis or for the life that you thought you might lead. You may find it difficult to talk about your grief and may feel like those around you do not understand as the person is still alive. If you are experiencing anticipatory grief, your feelings are not only valid, but they are also completely normal.
COMPLICATED GRIEF (also known as prolonged grief disorder) is where the grief experienced becomes severe. It can be prolonged and may impairs one’s ability to function as they once did in everyday life. Complicated grief may result if the loss was sudden, violent, or traumatic. There may be many contributing factors and it’s important to seek help if you feel that you are experiencing complicated grief.
CUMULATIVE GRIEF is the type of grief experienced if someone experiences more than one loss in a short period of time. Grief takes time to process. When more than one loss is experienced, the person does not have the time to process anything. Cumulative grief may add a layer of stress due to the lack of time to deal with each loss. It can amplify the feelings of grief. It is important that anyone experiencing cumulative grief seeks help as it can lead to complicated grief.
DELAYED GRIEF is exactly as it sounds, grief that has been delayed. The delay can occur for whatever reason. If you have other pressing family commitments, you may push back dealing with your grief. If you celebrate milestone birthdays but your loved one passes years prior, you may find yourself dealing with delayed grief at the time the milestone birthday would have occurred.
DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF is the type of grief that is not socially or culturally accepted or acknowledged. This may be associated with the loss of a pet, a miscarriage, a non-family member or a loss not associated with death. People who identify as LGBTQIA may experience disenfranchised grief if they experience the loss of a partner, particularly if their or their partner’s family do not support them. Disenfranchised grief may also be experienced by the families of those diagnosed with dementia as people may not understand the loss felt with this type of diagnosis.
TRAUMATIC GRIEF may be experienced if the death is sudden or was caused by an act of violence, natural disaster, or terrorism. Feelings such as shock, anxiety, and emotional numbness are common. The griever may not accept the death or may become obsessed with the dead person. Traumatic grief can lead to complicated grief and the griever may experience PTSD-like symptoms.
If your grief is having a negative impact on your life it might be time to seek professional help, particularly if you are having trouble eating, sleeping or getting back into your usual routine.
#grief #typesofgrief #loss
